If Only There Had Been a Gratitude House for My Late BFF Bridgette

Gratitude House, an Elevated Sober-Living Home Gives Women in Early Recovery Something Money Alone Cannot Buy—a Better Chance at Lasting Sobriety

By Grayling Holmes

I wish my best friend Bridgette had found Gratitude House.

That is the thought I could not escape as I learned about this St. Louis nonprofit and its elevated approach to sober living for women in early recovery.

Bridgette—that’s Bridgette with two t’s—came from the kind of St. Louis family many might assume was insulated from addiction. She grew up with privilege, in a St. Louis County home with a swimming pool, tennis courts and horse stable. She was beautiful, extraordinarily bright and one of the most naturally gifted salespeople I have ever known.

And none of it could protect her from addiction.

Alcohol. Cocaine. Eventually crack cocaine.

For much of her adult life, they had a hold on her that neither intelligence, family resources nor repeated attempts at rehabilitation could break.

I met Bridgette when she was 31. She had flowing raven hair and the kind of beauty that could have put her in front of a camera. At one point in the early 2000s, when I was between major public relations jobs, we worked together in property management. She was the property manager; I was her assistant.

Bridgette could sell anything.

Put her in front of a prospective resident and she could make that person see the possibilities of a property. Occupancy rates rose wherever she went. I handled marketing and wrote the property newsletter, and I frequently sang her praises as the extraordinary property manager she truly was.

But there was another Bridgette.

She was chronically late because of hangovers, and although I was technically her assistant, I often found myself doing her job until she arrived.

At business lunches, she might order an innocent iced tea. Then, away from the table, she would quietly ask the server to add vodka. She called it an “ice pick.”

She drank in the morning. When we went to the movies as friends, she could rarely make it through a film without reaching into her purse for one of those little airplane bottles of liquor.

She wasn't necessarily the stereotypical image many people have of someone struggling with alcoholism. She worked. She was articulate. She was talented. She could be charming and successful.

She was also terribly sick.

Her parents tried. They sent her to rehab after rehab. But Bridgette would leave treatment already anticipating the next drink.

I often wonder what might have happened if, somewhere along that journey, there had been a place like Gratitude House.

On **Saturday, September 19**, nearly 400 guests are expected to gather at the historic Casa Loma Ballroom for the **Gratitude GiddyUp Gala**, the organization's largest fundraiser of the year.

An Elevated Approach to Sober Living

Gratitude House is not a traditional rehabilitation center. It is a nonprofit elevated sober-living home for women in early recovery, designed to help bridge one of the most vulnerable periods in the recovery process: what happens after initial sobriety, when a woman must begin building an entirely different way of living.

Operating from a beautifully restored three-story Victorian home in St. Louis County, Gratitude House serves women who have achieved at least 30 days of sobriety and are committed to 12-step recovery.

Residents receive structure, professional guidance and neuroscience-based education in an environment built around dignity, accountability, employment, community service and spirituality.

Gratitude House operates from a beautifully restored three-story Victorian home in St. Louis County.

The cost to residents is intentionally accessible: just $125 per week, including utilities and therapeutic support.

But the program extends well beyond providing a beautiful, safe place to sleep.

Gratitude House is a real home. The welcome mat is out to welcome each woman to their temporary home.

Women participate in required educational programming addressing addiction and the brain, codependency and family systems, and financial literacy. The goal is not simply to tell a woman not to drink or use drugs. It is to help her better understand the forces behind addiction while developing the emotional, cognitive and practical skills necessary to build a sustainable life in recovery.

As Gratitude House Executive Director Dr. Maggie Sullivan explains, “We believe that recovery is not simply about abstinence, but about learning and developing the emotional and cognitive skills that make long-term sobriety possible.”

That distinction is important.

Bridgette could stop drinking for a period of time.

What she could never seem to learn was how to live without returning to it.

Addiction Doesn't Care About Your ZIP Code

Sophisticated Living readers understand the importance of philanthropy. We support hospitals, museums, schools, cultural institutions and organizations serving people in virtually every corner of our community.

Addiction belongs in that conversation, too.

It can be tempting to think of substance use disorder as something happening to someone else's family.

Bridgette taught me otherwise.

Addiction did not care that she came from privilege. It didn't care about the beautiful home where she grew up. It didn't care about her education, intelligence, career potential or family resources.

And it certainly didn't care how much her parents loved her.

That is one reason Gratitude House's model resonates so strongly with me. A woman does not need to look destitute to be desperate for help. She may be your daughter, sister, colleague, neighbor or closest friend. She may still be holding down a job, arriving beautifully dressed for dinner and convincing everyone around her that things are under control.

Until they aren't.

GiddyUp for a Greater Purpose

On Saturday, September 19, nearly 400 guests are expected to gather at the historic Casa Loma Ballroom for the Gratitude GiddyUp Gala, the organization's largest fundraiser of the year.

After selling out last year, GiddyUp returns with an intentionally less conventional take on the charity gala. Leave the black tie at home. Think cowboy hats, jeans and flannels paired with gourmet barbecue, mocktails, live country music, line dancing and Western-inspired experiences.

Leave the black tie at home. Think cowboy hats, jeans and flannels paired with gourmet barbecue, mocktails, live country music, line dancing and Western-inspired experiences.

Behind all that fun, however, is an exceedingly serious mission.

This year's distinguished guest and keynote speaker, Trudy Busch Valentine, will share her own heartbreaking experience with loss to addiction, bringing a deeply personal perspective to an evening dedicated to recovery and hope.

Most importantly, money raised will help Gratitude House sustain its current operations while preparing for an ambitious 2027 expansion.

Building Toward 2027

Gratitude House currently operates at or near capacity. That is encouraging evidence of the demand for its model, but it also illustrates how much more work remains to be done.

In 2027, the organization plans to broaden its mission through the creation of The Gratitude Institute for Recovery and Behavioral Change, a community education division grounded in neuroscience, psychology and spirituality.

The Institute is envisioned as a resource not only for individuals in recovery, but also for families and professionals trying to better understand addiction and behavioral change. Educational programs, workshops, retreats and learning cohorts will extend the knowledge developed through Gratitude House far beyond the walls of its sober-living residence.

That makes this year's GiddyUp Gala about more than funding another year of programming.

It is helping fund what comes next.

For those of us fortunate enough to have the means to give, there is tremendous power in that opportunity. A donation may help provide another woman with the time, structure, knowledge and support she needs before addiction takes something from her that cannot be restored.

If Only...

Bridgette never got that chance.

At 51, after decades of addiction, her life ended tragically in a traffic accident while she was intoxicated. The beautiful 31-year-old woman with flowing raven hair whom I first knew had been profoundly changed by years of substance use.

But when I remember her, that is not the Bridgette I choose to see.

I remember the brilliant salesperson.

The woman who could fill an apartment community.

The friend sitting beside me at the movies.

The person I praised in those newsletters because, despite everything she was battling, there was so much about her worthy of praise.

And I wonder.

What if, early in her struggle, Bridgette had encountered a place that understood recovery was about more than getting sober long enough to leave rehab?

What if she had found a structured home where sobriety was reinforced by education, accountability, community and dignity?

What if she had learned not simply how to stop drinking, but how to build a life in which the next drink no longer seemed inevitable?

I will never know whether Gratitude House could have changed Bridgette's story. Addiction is complicated, recovery is never guaranteed, and no program can promise an outcome.

But perhaps it could have given her another chance.

That is enough reason for me to care deeply about giving other women that opportunity.

So, put on your boots and cowboy hat and join nearly 400 St. Louisans at the Gratitude GiddyUp Gala on September 19. Have dinner. Raise a mocktail. Dance. Listen to the stories. And when the time comes to give, remember that your contribution is not merely supporting a beautiful sober-living home.

You may be helping give someone's Bridgette a different ending.

And if you cannot attend the gala, please consider making a donation directly to Gratitude House. Your generosity will support women currently rebuilding their lives and help make the organization's 2027 expansion possible.

And Gratitude House is always looking for someone to donate a suitable home to expand to a Gratitude House 2, then a 3, etc. The need is great.

Gratitude GiddyUp Gala
Saturday, September 19, 2026
Casa Loma Ballroom
3354 Iowa Avenue, St. Louis

For tickets, sponsorship information or to make a donation, visit Gratitude House.

About Gratitude House

A unique and elevated sober-living program for women in St. Louis County Missouri. Gratitude House is redefining aftercare through professional staffing, neuroscience-informed education, and a beautiful home for women committed to 12-step recovery.

More than a bed, a rent check and a drug test, Gratitude House offers a holistic program grounded in neuroscience, the 12-steps, accountability, spirituality, and love. They believe that:

Addiction is both a brain disease and a learning disorder.
Recovery is not just abstinence, it is a learning process.
Relationships are the foundation for both recovery and learning.
Environment has a profound impact on the nervous system and a person’s ability to heal.
High expectations must be balanced with high levels of support.
Every woman can build a life beyond their dreams if they are willing to go to any lengths.